okayyyy!!! this is the LAST post! boy m i happpy! =D
topic..
friendship....!
what a way to end off. friends!!! its such an issential in life. to everyone. i definitely can't live without friends and i don't think you can too. so.. have you ever wonder, what makes you be friend with one and not the other? well, it sure did for me. =)
when we are a kid, we find ourself, we find friends. these friends form the basis of our friends in future. many of friendship theories focuses on children due to this fact that many formation of friendship happens during childhood. children also spend most of their time in school, at the neighbourhood, being around many other children. it is seen that children need to learn to develop close relationship since young. it kinda forms the foundation. =)
children usually form close friendship when they are in school. it is seen that they will befriend with people of the same age, gender, race, interest etc. in adolescense, what bring friendship closer or what brings one befriend someone has got to do with the similarity in attitute, life goal and intelligence. this 3 are building blocks to adulthood friendship.
i was from an all girls school for TEN years. yes.. so, i guess all my friends will be off the same sex and pretty much race since chinese is the majority. children are seen to conform to peers at the early age. a study done show that children till the age of about 14years will conform to their peers. at about 15 years old, there is a drop in peer influence and wanting more atonomy. now.. this is important!!!
we seen that many students in singapore going astray like playing truant, vandalism, stealing!? using new languages etc.. well..this pretty much explains it. i would believe that when these kids are from a certain group when they are young, they will break out of it when they are about 15years old as they start to discover about themself more. example, gender identity, their life goals etc. maybe, we should look into the type of friends to help as understand why there is an increase in certain type of action of a certain age. also, as children grow, they break out from their little circle as they become more sensitive to social norms and their motivation to be accepted by their peers increases.
now, does this explan why u make some friends and lose some when you were younger?! =D
3 comments:
yups.
there are so many factors to how and why we make friends with others.
gender is actually one of the few things we all consider before making friends. it's like why most of my close friends are females even though i came from mixed school all my life. haha..
we know and change friends with our "needs" somehow. be it the literal needs or emotional needs.
I personally feel that the journey of gaining or losing friends doesn't stop at our younger days but prevails throughout our lifes. Even now having stepped into the adulthood, I continue to make more friends and are losing a few here and there as time passes.
We blame the lack of initiative or time when we lose our friends, but in actual fact we learn to priortize ceratin friends above others. It could be due to the similarities we share.
Opposites attact but it's the similiarities that keeps people together. I can't agree more with that.
Friendship? like Julia's post? heh. hmm... i see a trend. were you two talking about the same thing recently?
I like the two posts here, on your blog. cysocialpsych talks about the temporal nature of friendship-dom. How we change preference with friends, we age, we become wiser, make differnt decisions, etc. We end up changing our values (whether cognitively, affectively, or behaviourally) and probably reaching out to different people. Gender's very important too. I tend to have more female friends. But I tend to have closer male friends too. Quality or quantity? hmm... weird. But the most crucial place I've made friends, and perhaps the strangest, may be, in fact, in the army. friends from across all cultures, societal status, etc. Only gender - not alot of female friends in the army. Oh well. good post.
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